On enablement
“What would be your dream camping set-up?” I asked my husband. We were on our way to the mountains for a camping and fishing weekend, and I thought it was a fun and relevant question. I love thinking about the future. I love thinking about what could be. It’s the first step to getting there after all. And I was genuinely curious to know his answer.
He didn’t pause for long before saying, “I don’t really think about a dream camping set-up. I think more about what my set-up enables me to do.”
It is easy to get lost in dreaming, and for dreaming to lead to discontentment. It starts out as a fun question, but soon our dreaming draws awareness to the things we do not have. And before long we are so focused on the dream we forget why we even wanted it in the first place.
His response rattled me, in the best of ways. And it reminds me of when we were looking to buy a house. We came up with our vision for what our home would be (and without using the words) what it would enable us to do.
We wanted a home with with space to host people because it would enable us to bring people together and build community
We wanted a neighbourhood with lots of old trees because it would enable us to have a sense of living in the forest, while being right in the middle of the city
We wanted to be close to friends because it would enable us to continue to building community
We (Brandon) wanted a garage because it would enable creativity and projects and be another space to bring people together
We wanted a basement suite because it would enable us to supplement our mortgage and allow us to adventure freely and save money at the same time
As we were looking at homes, I often found myself tempted by features that were not aligned with our vision. The one I felt most tempted to ignore was the basement suite. We found many homes that were a perfect match by all other accounts. And it was easy for me to justify not having a basement suite. There were even great benefits of not having a basement suite.
It’s easy to be tempted by another vision, even when you have a clear vision. It’s easy to find something we want and justify it, working backwards to make it fit our vision or changing the vision altogether.
But when we start with our why and what it enables us to do, I believe we find ourselves more content (more on contentment here) and we build towards something with meaning.
There are many routes to why, but without a clear why we wander. And while wandering may have its own joy, we rarely build something lasting and we rarely stay satisfied for long.
So let’s practice. What is an area of your life lacking a clear why or a vision? Or what is an area of your life you currently feel discontent with? Perhaps it is your camping set-up or your house or your vehicle or your marriage. Choose something. Now, what’s the vision? What would having that in your life enable for you and for others? What would be created? What is thrilling to you? What happens when you hold up this vision to what you currently have? Are you hitting the target? What would it take to shift things?
Let me share an example. I am currently driving a 2007 Toyota Matrix. My vision for a vehicle is quite simple - it must safely and reliably get me from point A to point B. It must have working heat and AC. My little Matrix fits this criteria. But there are many vehicles that would fit this criteria. And I find it very easy to be tempted by the fancy vehicles with Apple CarPlay and heated steering wheels. When I think of my car and what it enables for me and others, I think of the money I am saving with no car payments and I think of the fact I can transport my friends pets without stressing over scratches on the seats. All of a sudden I find myself rooted back in reality of what I truly want. I find myself content.
