On tradition

A few months ago my husband and I were visiting with my in-laws when he made a comment about me saying I loved traditions. And as you could guess, I was deeply offended 🙃 

But actually, I’ve never thought of myself as someone who enjoys traditions. In fact, I have had an aversion to traditions. But when someone who really knows you calls it out in you, it’s worth considering (a lesson I write about in another post as well). 

So I did. I considered it, and as I looked at the data I realized that maybe I do in fact love traditions. And maybe, this is a piece of myself that was lost. 

I had become so used to saying “I hate traditions” that I truly believed it, even though all the evidence pointed in the other direction. 

I wonder if some of the beliefs we hold about ourselves, and the ones we get deeply offended by when challenged, are really our mind’s unconscious way of protecting us. We hold on to these beliefs to avoid pain.

In the midst of a rather unstable childhood, traditions became a source of pain. We tried to create new traditions, but they never really stuck. Traditions were a reminder of what was lost for our family. As a result, I avoided tradition. And it kept me safe. 

Safe isn’t really the goal though. We miss out on joy when our primary focus becomes safety. 

Tradition snuck back into my life through the Anglican Church. I fell in love with the liturgy and rhythms that are the foundation of Anglicanism. And it has become my foundation too. 

Through liturgy and spiritual disciplines I have reconnected with my love of tradition. And now, I am known by those around me as one who loves tradition.

It’s nothing new. It is a part of little Julianne that has been reclaimed. AND I LOVE THAT.

Denying my love of tradition came from a place of hurt and of avoidance. And what I want for little Julianne is to never let fear boss her around. I want little Julianne to be brave enough to love the parts of her that at times have caused pain. Because I believe the beauty is greater than the pain. 

Let’s continue to reclaim the parts of us that have been lost to fear.