On anger
It is not okay to be angry. At some point in my life this lesson was internalized, and it is now one I am working through unlearning.
I don’t know if it was taught by my parents or if I was just really bothered by how conflict was handled in my family. Or if it came from growing up in the church and leaning too far into “be slow to anger,” but some how I decided anger was bad.
So a couple thoughts on anger:
I wonder if anger is not good or bad, right or wrong. It just is. The more I lean into this, the more freedom I experience to just be in my feeling instead of trying to analyze it. It’s just there and it’s okay.
Our emotion is data, not directives. Data is neutral in essence. We create meaning and purpose from it. It goes with the thought above. I can feel something without acting on it. And if I want, I can get curious about what it might be showing me. I can lean in…which brings me to my next thought…
Does it do you well to be angry? THIS. I’ll say it again for the kid in the back - does it do you well to be angry? Anger has power. It can cause a lot of harm, but it also brings about a lot of change. Anger leads to revolutions. It leads to justice. Anger can create beautiful things. We must seek the wisdom to know when our anger does us well. And how to lean into its power.
To little Julianne, I would encourage you to not simply suppress your anger. It is not bad, and in fact, it might be beautiful. Lean in a little closer. It is okay to be anger. It might even be wonderful to be angry. So feel the feelings. May they bring you peace, direction, and passion. May our feelings lead us to create a better world.
Much love,
Julianne, 31
